I found out my fiancé had been receiving more than friendly texts from a woman that he previously worked with.We had a horrific argument which ended in me leaving with our 9 month old baby – as my fiancé would not show me his mobile phone bill to prove he had not been participating in these texts.
Most men hardly talk to their friends and text conversations / joke sharing on twitter etc happen only sporadically.
So if he’s constantly texting someone that’s a bad sign, as is deleting text messages and suddenly putting a password on his phone. Ask questions (‘What impact do you think this is having on our relationship?
We separated for one week and after discussions and an agreement that he would not contact this woman we decided to get back together.
One month later, I checked his phone and found he had saved the woman’s number under another name and had been phoning her constantly, and texting her at 2am when I went to bed and also throughout the day – even when he went to the shops to get nappies.
However, it can equally be a sign that the ‘friendship’ has moved to the next phase and your husband knows either consciously or unconsciously that he has something to hide. Does he seem to find constant fault or is irritable and snappy for no reason?
This is because he’s looking for reasons to justify his bad behaviour, so what used to mildly annoying has become proof, in his mind, that your relationship is fundamentally flawed.
He is either in denial about the proper nature of this relationship or he believes that cheating involves having sex (or has persuaded himself their intimate contact was ‘just a kiss’ – so doesn’t count).
In my opinion, it is the pattern of communication that’s most worrying – even more so than the content.
If the phone rang, in the past, it was most probably a close friend or someone calling to arrange a social event (like a match in a golf tournament).