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Usually most Indian men I see either date Indian women or White women, well in NYC I was so surprised, most Indian men are see here are with Indian women but still I have seen a significant number of them with Asian women (Chinese, Japanese etc.) and Latinas.

Then the other woman, who had remained silent until then, asked me for proof. When many Indians see one of their women with a man of a different race, they make assumptions, and offer unsolicited advice.

An Indian woman who has got a white man must be enlightened, even by complete strangers.

” Or whether at Pushkar would have rebuked Divya for being a “bad Hindu,” marrying a white man and not making him convert to Hinduism.

Or whether Ketki would have been asked to leave the building she was living in, in Nashik, because other residents did not want their children to be exposed to a “modern, unmarried mixed couple,” as some might put it.

At times she ignored the comments, but when she did try to fight back, some men found the aggression titillating: “! )” At play here is the stereotype that men from the West are interested in women mainly for sexual gratification.

By extension, the Indian women they are with must be promiscuous.

Then there is patriarchy: Women who venture out of the nest to seek a mate must lack decency.

And there’s the drive towards conformity: The ugly head that raises itself at the sight of anything that dares to deviate from the norm.

One day when walking on a street in Pune, Neha’s hometown, a biker slowed down near the couple and almost hit her. She said she sensed a mix of repressed fury and lust in the man’s tone, when he hissed back: “I will f*** you.” To many Indians, the idea of a mixed-race couple is alien, repulsive even.

Nicholas Chevaillier, my friend Aarya’s French-American husband, has been asked more than once in India where and how he “picked up” the woman he was with.

Such attitudes towards mixed-race couples are just another expression of the intolerance that won’t countenance Hindu women marrying Muslim men.

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