"You have to work on getting confidence and faith in yourself and ability to believe in your own worth." This is also something you could pursue in therapy, or through Tip No.4: Especially if you were married for a long time, you may have given up a lot of the things you enjoyed as a single person because they didn't fit with your "couplehood." Maybe you loved to go out, but your spouse was a homebody.
What is your new life going to look like, and how do you start moving in that direction?
Here are eight of the first steps: Nobody gets married thinking, "I sure hope we can get divorced someday!
It can be a way to work toward a better life, with someone who has no agenda but YOU. But the fact is that many people feel a lot of self-rejection after a divorce.
"You might think that there must be something wrong with you if you couldn't make this relationship work," Alberti says.
You've signed the divorce papers, and the relationship you entered with so much hope is officially dissolved. Maybe you had been married for decades, maybe just a year or so. Maybe the divorce was your idea and maybe it was your partner's, or maybe you both agreed that separation was best.
Maybe you're relieved, maybe you're heartbroken -- or a bit of both."As long as the changes you make are healthy and constructive, these are very appropriate," says Alberti."Think about who you want to be -- the person you were before the marriage, or maybe a new person?" Even if, by the time you split, the divorce was something you wanted, a divorce still represents a loss."Whatever your marriage and divorce experience has been, there will be emotions that have to do with grief," says psychotherapist Florence Falk, Ph D, MSW, author of On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone.Being alone doesn't mean being isolated and never seeing anyone.