But once I suddenly had her half the time, it became almost impossible for us to make plans together.
She had children too, so trying to balance both of our schedules and find evenings that we were both kid-free just put more and more stress on our relationship.
Almost any potential mate can handle a child that is not their own coming to visit four days a month.
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This is not meant to be an all-encompassing list, nor is it meant to be a list of “must haves.” Rather, I wrote it as a selection of items which are all individually important in their own way, but not necessarily deal breakers.◊♦◊Sure, we can be realistic and acknowledge that you probably won’t have the same connection with our children as you might have with a child you carried for nine months and then birthed yourself; at least not for a long time.
But we want to believe that you will eventually love them as if they were your own.
Easy or not, the majority of those four years, I was battling some fairly serious depression and anxiety due primarily to the minimal time I was able to spend with my daughter and the ongoing conflict with her mother.
Because of this, finding a potential partner to have a serious relationship with was not a priority for me until about the time I began dating my last girlfriend.
Now I find myself re-entering the dating world as a 31-year old single dad.
Watching the successes and failures of my married friends’ relationships got me thinking; what exactly am I and other single dads looking for in our potential mates?
At that point, after more than our share of failed relationships, we both genuinely thought we had found “the one.”◊♦◊The day I was granted equal custody of my daughter fell smack-dab right in the middle of our relationship, and looking back, it was a defining moment for us—the day I can pinpoint as the beginning of the end.
When I only had my daughter four days out of the month, it was easy to just plan our dates and adventures around those days.
We started dating casually, but we fell for each other hard and fast.