Rachel is, predictably, devastated, but not so much as when, in the ensuing hissy fit, Santana spills the beans that she and Finn smushed the previous year.From then on, Rachel's a self-absorbed mess for approximately zero reason: the supposed rationale is that if she can't have the limelight OR her boyfriend's virginity, no one can.
-Brittany is freaking out over her dance number, so Artie literally pulls a comb out of his rear (that's what it looked like and I call 'em like I see 'em) and tells her it's magic.
Brittany, having never seen "Space Jam," buys it entirely.
Like, "I-Just-Held-Up-Every-Land's-End-Within-a-Five-Mile-Radius-at-Gunpoint" preppy. Every episode where he doesn't enter the choir room with boat shoes (no socks), plaid shorts, a bright pink t-shirt with the collar popped, shades and an ascot is a lost opportunity on this show's part.
In any case, Schuester breezes into the choir room in his usual outfit and announces, with great panache, that Rachel isn't getting any solos; that Sam and Quinn (the winners of the duet contest a couple weeks ago) will get the opening ballad; and that the Gleeks will be utilizing the mad dance skillz of Mike Chang (solid) and Brittany (…wha? The idea behind it is that the Gleeks haven't so much been a team as a group of immensely talented individuals who continually lean on one or two stars, while failing to find appropriate roles for the rest of the crew.
Kurt's having trouble adjusting anyway, and he dearly misses his merry band of psychopaths.
OK, before we get to Sectionals, a rundown of the fifteen thousand B-plots in this episode.
Although, Lord knows why she'd want to since the guy just spent a day festering in feces. Following the incident, Puck is half-born again and resolves to be nicer to the Jews around campus.
Enter mopey Rachel with her (ZERO) boyfriend problems, and she turns to Puck for advice.
-With an open spot left amongst the Gleeks, Schuester designates Puck as the "Glee ambassador" since he is the most well-recognized kid on the team.
Puck tries to recruit the jocks (including Karofsky) in some convoluted Springsteen analogy (SCORE), but ends up trapped in an overturned Port-a-John.
But as Finn points out, Rachel was dating Jesse (remember him?