It always felt like starting all over and was always painful.Once I even continued to date a girl just to avoid “starting over”.When I was relaxed, there was no “doing better” or “doing worse”. For the rest of us, the biggest part of find that special someone is opportunity.
As the stress began to lessen, I started representing who I was much better.
Early on I was always in a panic-mode: trying to make sure everything went perfect on every date, overly concerned about the happiness of my date, worried about the impression I was making and so on.
On one occasion when things were going very poorly, instead of stressing out, I told my date I didn’t think we were a great match but that we could still have fun over dinner.
She seemed relieved and agreed to try to enjoy the dinner.
I would continue to date someone negative or rude or conceited and would just hope that things would just eventually “work themselves out”.
All this changed when my dating schedule became very active.I was discovering which conversations worked better than others and was able to avoid bumps in the conversation all together.The confusion of first-dates was disappearing altogether. I hadn’t even thought that having fun could be a part of online dating but as I grew more comfortable, I had more fun.Once I relaxed, I felt much better about the impressions I was leaving.Even when things didn’t work out and my date was not interested in seeing me again, at least I knew we just weren’t a match instead of wondering if I had only done “better” would she have liked me? Improved Odds If you believe that you can get along with out there then dating few people could work for you.This freedom allowed me to finally be honest with myself about what I was looking for.