“Instead of saying I was a virgin, I told my first partner that I was inexperienced and was feeling nervous,” Kayla*, a senior at Michigan State University, says. But this way, your partner knows how you’re feeling and you don’t have to explain your virginity if you don’t want to.” If you want to tell your partner you’re a virgin, it’s best to clear the air in the beginning. However, Liberman says that thinking about the experience of foreplay as inferior to the act of intercourse is misleading.“Foreplay suggests that it’s not as important as intercourse, whereas most women can orgasm during this time,” Liberman says.
You can find inexpensive female condoms such as FC2 ($6.88 at Walgreens) or male condoms at any local drugstore. You forgot to take your birth control pill that day.
It’s always smart to have backup in case things get heated and he doesn’t have protection on him! Ernst wants girls to know that Plan B (emergency contraception) is now offered over-the-counter and is a viable option for collegiettes.
You’ve already learned about the risks (perhaps you’ve seen one too many STD pictures) and benefits associated with intercourse, but how’s a girl to know what to expect?
We spoke with several sexperts to help you better prepare—physically and mentally—for when you’re ready to take the next step.
Also, before you even have intercourse, you could have broken your hymen when using tampons, during masturbation or even with strenuous exercise.
Along with tearing the hymen (aka “popping the cherry”), it’s normal to experience bleeding during and after the first time. and it depends on the kind of hymen that the woman has,” she says. If it’s flowing, then there is something else going on.” According to Liberman, the hymen varies in size and thickness from girl to girl, and so this can dictate how much bleeding, if any, you will experience.
Liberman says that light spotting is typical, but anything more than that may signal that something is wrong (or maybe it’s that time of the month! Yes, sex might feel uncomfortable at first, but the idea that penetration is to hurt is a myth!
Much of the pain that we associate with intercourse comes if the woman’s body is overly tense from nerves.
“Foreplay is extremely important for women because that’s when women are most aroused,” she says.
“If you jump into intercourse, the woman might not be lubricated enough to enjoy it and may not experience the full pleasure of sex.” Sarah*, a junior at the University of Michigan, also says that foreplay is important.
But when it comes to pleasure, it’s important to have realistic expectations.