It most likely took some work and time alone for him to get there (hint, hint).
The same applies to us; stop using attention from guys or any type of relationship as your key to confidence.
Still, I found it insulting, since I’m a female, and it was his indirect way of saying women suck at the dating game.
So, I thought about what he meant, and why my behavior was mostly associated with guys.
I was recently told by a guy that I approach dating the same way dudes do.
It turns out he (obviously) saw it as a positive attribute.
You’re going to lead happier, less stressful lives when you do so and most likely receive better treatment from potential mates. Funny, though, how we constantly alter ourselves -- whether it be our looks, beliefs, schedules, hobbies or passions -- to please a guy so he’ll stay with us.
Please, do it for all of us, so we can call it "female behavior" again; so I don’t have to spend another cranky morning mulling over pathetic headlines... Don’t drop plans for a guy, and don’t wait around by the phone. I’m not saying to play games, but just do you first and see him on your own terms. When was the last time you heard a guy you were casually (or even seriously) dating say, “Oh, you want me what way? You’re compromising yourself -- just wait until that resentment kicks in. There’s nothing hotter than a confident guy who knows himself, what he’s great at, what he’s not and is generally comfortable in his own skin.
Your friends will always be there, so treat them as such.
Don’t get rid of everything else in your life when you’re in a relationship.
During coffee binges (I have many), I also became more aware of repetitive articles on my Facebook and Twitter feeds, like, “How to get a guy to commit.” Among others were “Why he won’t call,” “Makeover tips to win him over,” “23 things women are always saying sorry for” and my all-time favorite, the “keep him interested” gems. Seriously, it’s like the total apocalypse of the female ego.
I’m not going to point a finger in one direction -- that’s a discussion for another time -- but my hunch is that the culprit is a clusterf*ck of many things.
Among those are society’s pressure on women to still marry young, slut shaming, double standards, baggage-ridden player guys, selfish exes, baggage-ridden insecure girls, your mom and dad, that dude from 8th grade and our sometimes unattainable beauty standards for women.